If you are bogged down with fights, tension, coldness or general sense of dissatisfaction in your relationship it can be hard to see the light. This is particularly true if you have already tried couples therapy and things are not better.

This is a very hard spot to be in. You might be feeling hopeless and stuck. Although we recommend couples therapy for distressed relationships, I want to give you reassurance that change is still possible. Keep reading to learn more.

My partner and I love hiking on an Encinitas trail with our dogs a few times a week. It is a great way for us to catch up on our kids, businesses and lives while enjoying nature. It is a part of my week that I always look forward to. Yet about a year ago, we had a very painful argument on that trail that I will always remember.

Anxiety. We have all felt it. It can show up as body tension, nervousness, a pit in the stomach, or a racing heart. Kids and teens get anxiety too, but they may not know it is anxiety, and you may not notice it.

Meditation can feel intimidating if you don’t know where to start, and it can be hard not to set intentions that may feel unattainable. You may think that meditating is about clearing your mind and sitting without any thoughts, but in reality it is about connecting completely with the present moment. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to not give in to the distractions, and to truly focus on the world around you.

Anxiety is a typical human reaction to stress, but if you are feeling overwhelmed by anxiety or if you feel like it is impacting your everyday life, you may be looking for ways to mediate it. If you are feeling overwhelmed by your anxiety, try a few of these exercises, which are aimed to help you quickly relax.

Everyone deals with varying levels of stress, which can be particularly difficult to manage if you also have symptoms of anxiety or depression. When you feel like your stress levels are reaching a peak, it may be time to take a break to reset. A mental health day is a day you take off of work or school, and you minimize commitments and/or responsibilities. You can use this time to relax, relieve stress, have fun, and prevent burn out.

The way that you start your morning can do wonders for the rest of your day! A morning routine does not have to be intense or extensive, but building the habit of a healthy morning routine can be incredibly beneficial.

Back when I was parenting my three children at the ages 1, 3, and 5, I had the very best intentions and loved them deeply. Yet day after day, I found myself melting down with their tantrums, feeling frazzled with sibling fights, and white knuckling transitions (from dinner to bath, school to home, and park to car). I tried with all my might to do parenting well. Yet I was struggling.

Sometimes children act out in maddening ways. They tantrum, fight with siblings, or refuse to cooperate. When these kinds of behaviors happen in homes with frequency, many well-intended parents think that the remedy is punishment. We live in a culture that, generally speaking, tells us the way to change behavior is to reward "good" behavior and punish "bad" behavior. Yet, if you are anything like the hundreds parents I have worked with over the years, you may find that punishment does not help. You may also wonder, "if I am not going to reward or punish, what am I supposed to do?".

After the birth of the first baby, 67 percent of couples see their relationship satisfaction plummet, according to research by John Gottman, PhD. The arrival of the first newborn throws most parents into a total life change overnight. Many couples, used to life of flexibility and autonomy, have a difficult time adjusting to the demands of a newborn, despite the fact that they love their new child.

Let me start by saying, I love my kids deeply and I love being a mother. Yet those early years of parenting babies, toddlers, and kindergarteners were hard! My baby would wake me at the crack of dawn. This was followed by a brief moment of cuddles and coffee. Then came a swirl of breakfast, diapers, dressing, car seats, strollers, school drop off, cleaning, laundry, playdates, lunch, naps, more diapers, karate, soccer, dance, gymnastics, homework, dinner, show, bath, teeth, jammies, bedtime stories, and finally, sleep.

Some parenting moments can be intense. Big tantrums, sibling fights, or child outbursts can trigger us. Sometimes we can take a deep breath, use our tools, and get through these moments with grace. Yet other times we lose it right along with our kids. When we become emotionally dysregulated, we cannot access our logic, perspective taking, compassion, and empathy making it almost impossible to connect with our children. We may move into a state of fight, flight, or freeze, and if we do, it will be very hard to stay grounded during difficult times.

Most parents don't want to yell at their kids. Yet, it can happen. Being a conscious parent takes a considerable amount of self-discipline in developing awareness. Despite hectic and busy lives there are ways to enhance your state of well-being and become more responsive. It will take time and it will not happen overnight. But I promise, with some slight changes, you can experience less reactivity and more peace. Read on!

I was teaching a Joy of Parenting course to a smart and well-educated group of parents. When I asked the group to introduce themselves, I requested that they briefly share two things, 1. what is going well in parenting and, 2. what is difficult about parenting. One by one, names and difficulties were offered with enthusiasm and ease. Yet almost every parent had a hard time recalling and sharing about what was going well.

Sometimes everything is as good as it gets. Everyone in the family is rested, balanced, cooperative, and home life feels good. Then we go through periods where the kids struggle, life is rushed, and parenting feels hard. Let's face it, when we have little kids are home, family life can be unpredictable. One minute its all smiles and laughter and the next minute its tears and meltdowns. ​

Parenting is one of the most challenging endeavors we take on as humans. Being responsible for the survival of our young is no easy task. Beyond this, most parents aim to see their children go far beyond just survival. We want our children to thrive. It is easy to get distracted by all the parenting approaches out there that promise well-behaved and happy kids. Yet, as a therapist that specializes in working with parents, couples, and families, I can assure you that creating strong family relationships is the best parenting approach I know of. ​

Dr. John Gottman is a well know relationship expert that has conducted extensive research on what the happiest and healthiest couples do to create lasting love relationships. In his book, "What Makes Love Last", Gottman teaches a concept known as turning towards each other. Taking on a general mindset of turning towards your partner or spouse can increase connection and reduce conflict.

Recently I was chatting with some friends about various aspects of life. These are brilliant and loving women who are doing incredible things with their lives. Yet as we talked, what emerged was a strikingly simple theme: something was missing. We talked about how we wanted thriving careers, joyful families, passionate love lives, and great health. Simply put, we want it all. Yet, not a single one of us felt we had it all. ​

Generally speaking, when my kids were young, they were well-behaved. Yet, they were kids! They had their moments of whining, fighting, and tantruming. In my attempt to be a great parent, I learned all I could on how to nip these behaviors in the bud. Back then, sugar-coated punishments and rewards were all the rage. I implemented sticker charts, point systems, planned ignoring, praise, removal of privileges, and time-outs. ​