Couples Therapy
Are you and your partner fighting too much? Are you concerned that your fights might be impacting the kids? Do you act more like roommates than lovers? Are you too tired or uninterested in sex most of the time? Do you frequently disagree on topics such as parenting, finances, or weekend plans? Are you missing the connection and spark you once had? Have you or your spouse had an affair? Is alcohol or depression influencing your relationship? Are you thinking about separation or divorce?
Many couples face challenges in their relationship. I can help you create the kind of relationship you really want. Utilizing an approach, called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), I guide couples to improve communication, enhance connection, and revitalize intimacy. EFT is an effective and empirically validated therapy model. Ninety percent of couples that move through the EFT process find that their relationship improves and 73 percent of couples move from a distressed state to a satisfied state.
I work with all kinds of couples and relationships. Many couples I work with have great relationships and need support on a few issues. Others start therapy in a state of marital crisis. Regardless of the difficulties that are brought forward, couples therapy is designed for those wanting to work together to improve their relationship. I do not judge, blame, or take sides. You can expect to do deep transformational work with me, yet my approach is practical and dedicated to helping you make progress toward your specific goals.
Many couples face challenges in their relationship. I can help you create the kind of relationship you really want. Utilizing an approach, called Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), I guide couples to improve communication, enhance connection, and revitalize intimacy. EFT is an effective and empirically validated therapy model. Ninety percent of couples that move through the EFT process find that their relationship improves and 73 percent of couples move from a distressed state to a satisfied state.
I work with all kinds of couples and relationships. Many couples I work with have great relationships and need support on a few issues. Others start therapy in a state of marital crisis. Regardless of the difficulties that are brought forward, couples therapy is designed for those wanting to work together to improve their relationship. I do not judge, blame, or take sides. You can expect to do deep transformational work with me, yet my approach is practical and dedicated to helping you make progress toward your specific goals.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy, or EFT?
Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, individuals, and families is a therapeutic model that was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. It offers a structured, experiential, and humanistic approach to relationship change and based on attachment theory. The process has three stages and nine steps. In stage one I get to know the couple, strengths, challenges, and what their interactional pattern is. In stage two we begin to shift how the couple interacts through emotional processing, accessing needs, exploration of longings, and restructuring their interactional pattern. In stage three we focus on solutions to problems, maintaining the newly developed positive interactional pattern, and support with living out hopes and dreams.
I am not sure talking to someone about our marriage will help. What makes you qualified?
I specialize in couples therapy, marriage counseling, and relationship. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT 117148 with the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. I have a Masters Degree in Marital and Family Therapy. Beyond graduate school, I am trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. I see approximately 20 couples per week and teach couples workshops throughout the year. In addition, I am in a loving relationship with my life partner. I can say from personal experience that EFT has had a profoundly positive impact on my romantic relationship even as we navigate our businesses and five children.
My fiancé and I have a great relationship. Do you offer premarital counseling?
Yes. Utilizing Emotionally Focused Therapy and Prepare/Enrich, we offer a six session premartial counseling process at discounted rate. This process helps couples gain insights into relationship dynamics, commitment levels, personality, spiritual beliefs, and family systems. In addition, couples discover how to strengthen their bond and make their love last.
We have a good marriage. We want help with communication. Do we really need therapy for this?
Communication is complex. The messages we send to others are influenced by verbal language, body language, thoughts, feelings, memories, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Food, sleep, substances, and our general state of wellness also impact how we communicate. Therapy helps couples communicate clearly and effectively.
We rarely have sex anymore. Is this something you can help us with?
Absolutely. Marriage counseling and couples therapy includes sex therapy. Sex is a vital aspect of the romantic relationship. The process of couples therapy begins with helping couples create a solid foundation and new ways of interacting and communicating with each other. Once this is solidly established I help my clients explore their sexual connection.
We saw a therapist in the past who said she could not work with us because our fights get explosive. Will you work with us?
When I begin with a new couple we start with an assessment. During the assessment, I will learn more about the nature of your arguments and inquire about the levels of emotional and physical safety that are present within the relationship. I can begin therapy with most couples that are experiencing high conflict or explosive arguments. It may be that we start with individual sessions first and move our way into couples therapy. Occasionally, I refer couples out to a therapist with expertise in treating domestic violence and abuse.
I had an affair and told my spouse. She is threatening divorce but I feel so remorseful and want to save our marriage. Can you help?
The emotional pain that arises from infidelity can be severe. Affairs can be traumatic and it is not uncommon for the faithful partner to experience symptoms associated with post traumatic stress. Yet many couples discover that they are able to heal, recover, renew their relationship, and stay together. I am trained in the attachment injury repair model and affair recovery and successfully help couples work through their pain and restore their relationship to a fulfilled state.
We are thinking about separation and divorce. I am not sure I have any energy left to put into my marriage. How can you help?
Some couples start therapy at a time when one or both are seriously considering divorce. During the assessment process we will explore your commitment levels to the marriage. Couples therapy is most effective when both partners are committed to doing the work to improve their marriage. On occasion, I recommend clients begin with discernment counseling with me instead of couples therapy. Discernment counseling helps couples develop clarity and make a decision as to whether or not they want to stay married, separate, or divorce amicably. This process may lead to couples therapy or counseling during the separation or divorce.
Our disagreements have to do with parenting, not our marriage. Will couples therapy be helpful?
Yes couples therapy will help. Couples struggle with parenting for a variety of reasons. I am a trained parent educator and regularly work with parents. Our work together will begin with helping you and your spouse communicate effectively and interact responsively. Once couples do this, they generally solve most parenting problems on their own. In addition, I am happy to offer parent counseling or family therapy as an adjunct to, or instead of, couples therapy.
My spouse and I want to explore opening our relationship. Do you do therapy with couples in open marriages?
Yes. I regularly work with couples practicing consensual non-monogamy and those with open marriages. Therapy can help you engage in meaningful dialogue and keep connection strong while navigating the complexities of open relationships.
How many sessions will we have to do?
Creating lasting change within romantic relationships takes time. Some couples come into therapy expecting that their problems will be solved in one or two sessions. This is generally not possible. The first one to four sessions of our work together is an assessment process. After this, I help transform the way couples communicate, connect, and interact. Once couples are able to communicate effectively they are able to solve most problems on their own. Most couples can expect to complete a minimum of 12 - 24 sessions of therapy. Many couples prefer to establish long term weekly sessions as seeing me weekly provides a non biased neutral third party to aid perspective and to facilitate conversations effectively. This being said, you are never obligated to a certain number of sessions and you can cancel at any time.
How often will we meet with you?
For therapy to be effective, clients should expect to meet with me once per week for 60 minutes. Generally I will reserve a recurring weekly day/time for you. For clients with busy schedules, frequent travel or budget concerns, I am flexible with scheduling yet progress tends to be slower when we meet less than once per week.
Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples, individuals, and families is a therapeutic model that was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson. It offers a structured, experiential, and humanistic approach to relationship change and based on attachment theory. The process has three stages and nine steps. In stage one I get to know the couple, strengths, challenges, and what their interactional pattern is. In stage two we begin to shift how the couple interacts through emotional processing, accessing needs, exploration of longings, and restructuring their interactional pattern. In stage three we focus on solutions to problems, maintaining the newly developed positive interactional pattern, and support with living out hopes and dreams.
I am not sure talking to someone about our marriage will help. What makes you qualified?
I specialize in couples therapy, marriage counseling, and relationship. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LMFT 117148 with the California Board of Behavioral Sciences. I have a Masters Degree in Marital and Family Therapy. Beyond graduate school, I am trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. I see approximately 20 couples per week and teach couples workshops throughout the year. In addition, I am in a loving relationship with my life partner. I can say from personal experience that EFT has had a profoundly positive impact on my romantic relationship even as we navigate our businesses and five children.
My fiancé and I have a great relationship. Do you offer premarital counseling?
Yes. Utilizing Emotionally Focused Therapy and Prepare/Enrich, we offer a six session premartial counseling process at discounted rate. This process helps couples gain insights into relationship dynamics, commitment levels, personality, spiritual beliefs, and family systems. In addition, couples discover how to strengthen their bond and make their love last.
We have a good marriage. We want help with communication. Do we really need therapy for this?
Communication is complex. The messages we send to others are influenced by verbal language, body language, thoughts, feelings, memories, facial expressions, and tone of voice. Food, sleep, substances, and our general state of wellness also impact how we communicate. Therapy helps couples communicate clearly and effectively.
We rarely have sex anymore. Is this something you can help us with?
Absolutely. Marriage counseling and couples therapy includes sex therapy. Sex is a vital aspect of the romantic relationship. The process of couples therapy begins with helping couples create a solid foundation and new ways of interacting and communicating with each other. Once this is solidly established I help my clients explore their sexual connection.
We saw a therapist in the past who said she could not work with us because our fights get explosive. Will you work with us?
When I begin with a new couple we start with an assessment. During the assessment, I will learn more about the nature of your arguments and inquire about the levels of emotional and physical safety that are present within the relationship. I can begin therapy with most couples that are experiencing high conflict or explosive arguments. It may be that we start with individual sessions first and move our way into couples therapy. Occasionally, I refer couples out to a therapist with expertise in treating domestic violence and abuse.
I had an affair and told my spouse. She is threatening divorce but I feel so remorseful and want to save our marriage. Can you help?
The emotional pain that arises from infidelity can be severe. Affairs can be traumatic and it is not uncommon for the faithful partner to experience symptoms associated with post traumatic stress. Yet many couples discover that they are able to heal, recover, renew their relationship, and stay together. I am trained in the attachment injury repair model and affair recovery and successfully help couples work through their pain and restore their relationship to a fulfilled state.
We are thinking about separation and divorce. I am not sure I have any energy left to put into my marriage. How can you help?
Some couples start therapy at a time when one or both are seriously considering divorce. During the assessment process we will explore your commitment levels to the marriage. Couples therapy is most effective when both partners are committed to doing the work to improve their marriage. On occasion, I recommend clients begin with discernment counseling with me instead of couples therapy. Discernment counseling helps couples develop clarity and make a decision as to whether or not they want to stay married, separate, or divorce amicably. This process may lead to couples therapy or counseling during the separation or divorce.
Our disagreements have to do with parenting, not our marriage. Will couples therapy be helpful?
Yes couples therapy will help. Couples struggle with parenting for a variety of reasons. I am a trained parent educator and regularly work with parents. Our work together will begin with helping you and your spouse communicate effectively and interact responsively. Once couples do this, they generally solve most parenting problems on their own. In addition, I am happy to offer parent counseling or family therapy as an adjunct to, or instead of, couples therapy.
My spouse and I want to explore opening our relationship. Do you do therapy with couples in open marriages?
Yes. I regularly work with couples practicing consensual non-monogamy and those with open marriages. Therapy can help you engage in meaningful dialogue and keep connection strong while navigating the complexities of open relationships.
How many sessions will we have to do?
Creating lasting change within romantic relationships takes time. Some couples come into therapy expecting that their problems will be solved in one or two sessions. This is generally not possible. The first one to four sessions of our work together is an assessment process. After this, I help transform the way couples communicate, connect, and interact. Once couples are able to communicate effectively they are able to solve most problems on their own. Most couples can expect to complete a minimum of 12 - 24 sessions of therapy. Many couples prefer to establish long term weekly sessions as seeing me weekly provides a non biased neutral third party to aid perspective and to facilitate conversations effectively. This being said, you are never obligated to a certain number of sessions and you can cancel at any time.
How often will we meet with you?
For therapy to be effective, clients should expect to meet with me once per week for 60 minutes. Generally I will reserve a recurring weekly day/time for you. For clients with busy schedules, frequent travel or budget concerns, I am flexible with scheduling yet progress tends to be slower when we meet less than once per week.
Getting Started
If you are interested in couple therapy, the first step is to schedule a free twenty minute consultation. For new clients only one person schedules and attends the consultation. You can text me directly to schedule at 858-337-6124 or you can schedule online by clicking the Request Appointment button below. At the end of the consultation we can schedule your first session or you can think about it and get back to me - no pressure.